Douglas Kennedy säger ofta det jag behöver höra. Från hans facebook.
I have been very much let down by two people in the last few months – two deals which, though sealed with a handshake, turned out to be non-existent. As infuriating as this all was, it did underscore a fundamental truth with which we must all grapple – we are all potential victims when it comes to the games of others. The important consideration herein is the thought: how not to be a victim again…. More to the point – how to essentially come out of such bad business not full of sound and fury (which, as Mr Shakespeare noted, ‘signifies nothing’).
There is much to be said for a well-developed sense of perspective in such situations: a realization that though you have been profoundly let down – and may have to scramble for solutions to the aftermath of such a big ‘deception’ – you have no choice but to push forward. And to also realize that, as everything in this life is profoundly temporal, you owe it to yourself to not be chewed up for an excessive amount of time about such things. Because all the venting of spleen is not going to change a damn thing.
And there’s another consideration to ponder: the way fury turns itself inward on you. We all know of somebody who, after being particularly vengeful or vindictive towards someone else, woke up one day, encased in a desperate physiological condition – as if all that malice eventually just turned inward, making them implode. Just as I have two friends who – as the result of immense anger and stress – then fell victim to cancer. Now I am not going to speculate whether the reason why they fell so ill was the result of their toxic emotional weather systems. But the ability to untie the Gordian Knot of anger (even if the anger is profoundly justified) is always beneficial.
As I noted in an earlier posting, forgiveness is not about trying to play Gandhi; it is ultimately something salutary that you do for yourself.